Burn It All Down
I hid in the dark and watched my handiwork. I had been up for four days and could not sleep. I couldn’t eat and lived on Vitality water. She was gone and I was still here. So it was only fitting that I made a pyre out of my regrets and longings. Burning The Midnite Oil down was a cliché too delicious to forgo. I had to do it. Why? She was gone, that’s all. So it had to go. My club. My beautiful, horrible club, burning to the ground, drowning under the water from the firefighter’s hoses. My night manager, Cliff, made a statement to the press. With a look of shock across his smug goateed face. His piercings glittering in the glare of camera lights. Haha, Cliff. I hope you are struck with insomnia, you prick. I yawned as I watched the spectacle die down.
That night I had the best sleep of my life.
(I got the idea for this from a prompt on the Writers Digest page).
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Friday, November 27, 2009
"Half Nelson" review
Half Nelson (The Dialectic Of Film)
DIALECTIC: The Hegelian process of change in which a concept or its realization passes over into and is preserved or fulfilled by its opposite;also: the critical investigation of this process (Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary, 11th Edition,2003.)
One of the things that makes us human is our ability to distance ourselves from our own behavior. This ability allows us to do horrible things to ourselves and others, yet not let those things move us to act differently. We are capable of astounding levels of self-destruction. We are also capable of the opposite – the creation and appreciation of beauty, in ourselves and others.
Daniel Dunne (Ryan Gosling), the protagonist of the movie “Half Nelson”, is a teacher in the inner city who epitomizes the Hegelian struggle. Just as he offers his students a glimpse into how dialectics and history collide and collapse into each other, his own idealism collapses under the weight of the cynical world in which he lives. His idealistic heart crushed, melted and inhaled through a pipe or a straw. His cynical mind challenged by his students, particularly Dree (Shareeka Epps), a witness to his otherwise internal struggle.
History repeats. History repeats. Like a heart beats. As Daniel Dunne, Gosling gives a nuanced and unforgettable performance. It could have come off as a ‘crackhead with a heart of gold’ cliché, but Gosling fully gets the complex nature – the dialectics of Daniel – of his character. Shareeka Epps has the natural grace to portray Dree in a subtle yet powerful way. That she is new to the acting game makes her performance all the more amazing. Anthony Mackie displays his own brilliance as both protector and user (she becomes his drug deliverer) of Dree.
The film is both heartbreaking and a triumph. A rare look at the complexities of addiction -- how insight can sometimes blind us from the bigger picture.
DIALECTIC: The Hegelian process of change in which a concept or its realization passes over into and is preserved or fulfilled by its opposite;also: the critical investigation of this process (Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary, 11th Edition,2003.)
One of the things that makes us human is our ability to distance ourselves from our own behavior. This ability allows us to do horrible things to ourselves and others, yet not let those things move us to act differently. We are capable of astounding levels of self-destruction. We are also capable of the opposite – the creation and appreciation of beauty, in ourselves and others.
Daniel Dunne (Ryan Gosling), the protagonist of the movie “Half Nelson”, is a teacher in the inner city who epitomizes the Hegelian struggle. Just as he offers his students a glimpse into how dialectics and history collide and collapse into each other, his own idealism collapses under the weight of the cynical world in which he lives. His idealistic heart crushed, melted and inhaled through a pipe or a straw. His cynical mind challenged by his students, particularly Dree (Shareeka Epps), a witness to his otherwise internal struggle.
History repeats. History repeats. Like a heart beats. As Daniel Dunne, Gosling gives a nuanced and unforgettable performance. It could have come off as a ‘crackhead with a heart of gold’ cliché, but Gosling fully gets the complex nature – the dialectics of Daniel – of his character. Shareeka Epps has the natural grace to portray Dree in a subtle yet powerful way. That she is new to the acting game makes her performance all the more amazing. Anthony Mackie displays his own brilliance as both protector and user (she becomes his drug deliverer) of Dree.
The film is both heartbreaking and a triumph. A rare look at the complexities of addiction -- how insight can sometimes blind us from the bigger picture.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Dangerous Time For My Recovery
Being in new love is like being high, and getting all the good stuff I've been getting has kicked up the addict in me. I've been having cravings mostly to drink, but other shit has crossed my mind.
WTF? I guess I'm not used to being so happy and feeling so good and it's freakin' me out. I know that the feeling will pass and I won't have to act on it. It's just not how I want to feel right now.
WTF? I guess I'm not used to being so happy and feeling so good and it's freakin' me out. I know that the feeling will pass and I won't have to act on it. It's just not how I want to feel right now.
Gratitude for Hitting the Trifecta
I really hit the trifecta this month. Not only did I score a new apartment thanks to Everett Housing Authority and Section 8, but I got a new beau as well. Greg is all that I could ask for in a man except proximity. He lives in the San Diego area. Still, we had a great time kickin' it. He and his friend John helped me move into my new pad.
Then yesterday I found out I got a new job. Forty hours a week. It's not retail either. So I'm beyond blessed.
As you might guess, I am also pretty overwhelmed by all these changes. So I guess I just need to do the next indicated thing and strive for balance -- physical, mental and emotional balance. Something that is difficult at this time.
Then yesterday I found out I got a new job. Forty hours a week. It's not retail either. So I'm beyond blessed.
As you might guess, I am also pretty overwhelmed by all these changes. So I guess I just need to do the next indicated thing and strive for balance -- physical, mental and emotional balance. Something that is difficult at this time.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Daze of Whine And Poses -- Northgate Mall
Went to the Northgate Library today, situated across the street from Northgate Mall. After doing some journaling and checking out books, I drove over to the mall as I was craving coffee. Because I have no money (33 cents in my account), I obtained a sample cup of drip from Starbuck's. I proceeded to walk to See's Candies and get a sample chocolate. I enjoyed both thoroughly. I could bitch about my financial situation at length, but today the sun is out, I am feeling pretty happy, and am grateful for the roof over my head and the free coffee and chocolate. I came home and decided to start a new blog. Why not? I don't know why I named this post what I did. It just came into my head and I didn't want to forget it.
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