Starting The Old Blog Up, All Rusty and Falling Apart

Went to the gym today, at 5:30a.m., and walked on the treadmill for about 20 minutes. I am 45, out-of-shape, with high cholesterol. I then went to Fred Meyer and bought a cheap "analog" scale, to track my weight loss (or gain). I never thought I'd be here, at this point in my life, all rusty and falling apart, like this blog. But here I am. I am in desperate need of a makeover, or something, because my way of doing things hasn't been working.  I mean, I no longer have a job, never set foot in my so-called home office, and get winded climbing the library's few stairs. Yet, in two weeks I'll be starting school to get into a new "career", and it has nothing to do with my passion, but everything to do with bringing home a higher paycheck than retail can bring. Meanwhile, I'm still hoping for a gig, a job, something to help me out.

I was also searching online  to win a makeover, because I need new front teeth, and some nice clothes for interviews, etc. If I ever get another interview. My affirmation is: "The perfect job for me is already mine. It is right and fun, and has many benefits." This is Rusty Roxy signing off for now.

Will Work For Gas or Money

I just found out my bank account is overdrawn. I have a couple of options and they don't thrill me. One is to borrow money from someone. The other is to pawn my bass guitar. The other, third and most uncomfortable option is to do nothing. Do nothing. I get only $30 this week from unemployment, then have to wait at least a week for a decent check.

I am continually disappointed partly because I keep having expectations. I expect that at some point I will have an interview that results in a job. But so far that hasn't happened. I feel a little bit like my whole life is on hold at the moment.

I'm going to look into volunteering more. What else is there to do? I've recently started a memoir as well. Plus daily blogging. I feel as if a giant weight is sitting on my shoulders, and sometimes I wake up at 5a.m. feeling like there is someone watching me. But there is no one there. I am alone.